Everyone has their secrets
by MyUsernameIsAlwaysTakenToo
Summary: "Perception is reality. The truth won't matter."  Sometimes, for the sake of a relationship, secrets should stay hidden.   previously titled "Secrets" sorry for the mix up!
1. Everything Changes

So this popped into my head at 3:30 this morning as I was trying to go back to sleep. Naturally, I HAD to write it as soon as I woke up. This is what I think could happen in the season 4 finale, even though its pretty far away. Needless to say there are no spoilers for that episode, and other than that only a teeny bit from 4x01. If that. This is probably the result of listening to Taylor Swift's "Forever and Always" before bed. Also lack of sleep.

This is probably gonna be a two shot. MAYBE three. But probably two.

Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: The only thing about Castle that i own is the 2012 calendar, and seasons 1-3 on DVD. And a mug that says "She's armed, He's dangerous."

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><p>Kate grabbed the laptop of off of the counter and headed to his office. He had invited her over for dinner, to unwind after a particularly rough case. Usually, she would think of excuses as to why she couldn't, only to have him convince her in a matter of minutes. This time was different. This time, she didn't push him away, but instead welcomed his invitation. These dinners were becoming more and more frequent, usually ending with a glass (or three) of wine and some childhood stories. Sometimes, she even stayed for a movie. This was one of those nights. Rick had suggested watching a Disney movie, no surprise there. The surprise was when Kate picked "Beauty and the Beast." The bigger surprise was that Rick didn't own that one. Seeing as it was Kate's favorite, and all Rick wanted was for her to be happy, he decided that they could watch it on his laptop. It had seemed logical, considering they didn't have the DVD. It seemed logical until Kate realized that they could have easily set up the projector. She knew it was one of his ploys to get her to sit closer to him, hoping to get her to cuddle with him. So she did. She moved closer, placing her arm on the back of the couch, propping her head up with her hand. So she could see better, of course. The watched the movie in silence, except for a few ties where she started to sing along. The credits had just started rolling when Rick broke the comfortable silence.<p>

"So, why this one?"

"I like the story," she replied simply.

"The story of a girl being kidnapped by an animal and falling in love with him? Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me."

"I expected more out of you, considering you're the writer. You're looking at it all wrong. She meets a guy who she is immediately annoyed with, even hates him at the start of things. But he won't leave her alone, in a sense, and the more time they spend together, the more she realizes that there's more to him than what meets the eye. There's more than what everyone sees. He's not the animal she thought he was. He's a gentle, kind, loving man, and he has his baggage, just like she does. He was just cursed with this horrible exterior image, but she sees the truth. He tries to tell her, tries to show her that he loves her, but she's too stubborn to see it, to listen. Maybe it's because of her father, or maybe because of her mother's death, but she wasn't ready to love him. So he helped break down the walls she had up, and something changed. She realized not only that he loves her, but that she loves him too. And in the end everything works out. It always does."

He sat there, staring at her, wondering what he had done to have the honor of knowing such an extraordinary woman. He also wondered if she was still talking about the movie...They held their eye contact for a moment, neither one wanting to break this beautiful trance. Finally, he could see that she was starting to get uncomfortable, so he broke the moment.

"I'll do the dishes, could you just put the computer on my desk?"

He stood up slowly, handing her the computer and heading to the kitchen. Kate followed, not quite ready to be in a separate room. Setting the laptop on the counter, she asked if he wanted some help with the dishes first. He shrugged off her offer, claiming he was almost done anyway. Heading to his office, she stopped and grabbed a stray book off of the table. As she situated the laptop on his desk, her hip bumped a remote, somehow managing to press a button. She heard the little "click" as the screen behind her came to life. She knew she shouldn't turn around. She could feel it. She knew this was not something she wanted to see. But she did it anyway, only to be greeted by a large picture of herself. Curiosity getting the best of her, she tapped her picture, dropping the book and letting out a loud gasp as the smaller pictures fanned out around her own. She recognized these pictures all too well. The color drained out of her as she closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were already falling. She thought she heard Rick whisper her name, but she wasn't sure. She couldn't be sure of anything right now. She wasn't even sure what she was feeling. Anger? Yes. Hatred? Some. But the worst? The worst was the pain in her chest knowing that this was Rick's doing. That's what hurt the most. And that's what made her cry.

"Kate...I can explain..."

"How _dare _you," she seethed, hatred and anger bubbling up inside her.

"Kate, I -"

"NO! Don't. How could you? Knowing what you do? Knowing what this does to me? Who do you think you are? My partner? My friend? No, Rick. Partners, friends, they don't hide things like this from each other! You told me to stand down! Told me it was gonna kill me! I was finally letting go, Rick! I was finally starting to be the kind of person I wanted to be! To be happy! Why couldn't you just let it go? How could you ruin that? Oh, I'm sorry, you were doing it to satisfy your ow morbid curiosity! How could you be so selfish?"

Rick was hurt that she would accuse him of that, he knew that she was fully aware that his curiosity wasn't about death, it was about her. But what hurt him more was that he had caused her pain, and he couldn't fix it, she wouldn't let him. She wouldn't even give him a chance to defend his case. She continued yelling as she gathered her belongings, heading to the door but now standing in the middle of the living room.

"How long has this been going on? Two years? Three? Or just since this?"

She hissed the last word, punctuating it by pulling her shirt down roughly to reveal the scar lying right over her heart. That made him flinch. Not the scar, but the whole sight in front of him. Her mascara was running, tears streaming out of red, puffy eyes. She had her shirt clenched in her left hand, making sure he saw her scar fully. She wouldn't let go of her shirt, thinking maybe, just maybe him seeing it would help him see her pain.

"I was trying to..." He stopped. He wasn't really sure how to continue.

"Trying to what, Rick? Tryin' to, to _protect _me? To _save_ me? Well you did a _wonderful _job! Everything's fine now, Rick! You were only trying to protect me, so it's ok that you hid this from me! You were just trying to help! I thought you loved me, Rick! That's what you said, isn't it? "Stay with me, Kate. I love you?" Right. Love. Was that a lie too? Was any of this real? You said "always." I guess always isn't as long as I thought," she finished, throwing on her coat and heading to the door.

"Don't bother coming in tomorrow. We're done. If I see you again, I'll have you arrested for harassment."

She slammed the door behind her, Rick close behind. He caught her just as she stepped into the elevator.

"Kate! Please let me explain. I thought you loved me, even just a little."

She waited until the doors were closing before softly answering him.

"I never said that."

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><p>So? What do you think? I know Kate seems a bit harsh, but she gets that way when shes mad. So hopefuly you liked it. My next chapter is waiting to be typed until after i finish some homework, which i should've done in the first place anyways. But don't worry, it will end on a slightly happier note, i think. Depends on the way you look at it...<p>

I'm sorry, i can be so evil sometimes.

Review?


	2. Recovery

**So this is the last chapter for this story. I feel like the first chapter was better, because that was what i had originally thought up. Being the caskett shipper that I am, I couldn't stand to leave it so sad and open ended. So I wrote this to kind of finish it. This may be a bit OOC, but I did my best to stay in character as much as i could. This is also less likely to happen than the first chapter, but then again, with Andrew Marlowe, anything can happen.**

**Disclaimer: still not mine.**

**Hope you like it!**

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><p>Kate sat alone in her living room, crying softly to herself, going over the events of the past week. This case had been particularly grueling, and the fact that Castle wasn't there had made it worse. They had finally closed it, but not before two innocent bystanders were caught in the cross hairs. Castle would have come up with a crazy, yet accurate theory and they would've found the suspect sooner. Castle. Oh boy. That thought brought on a whole new wave of tears. She knew she had over-reacted. She got scared, and her walls magically rebuilt themselves, covering themselves with steel reinforcements. And another layer of brick. And more steel. They hadn't spoken since that night, eight nights ago. She had expected him to try to see her again, or at least have flowers or something delivered, but she was wrong. She didn't blame him though. She deserved it. She had lied too. She had kept a secret, and even tried to use it in her argument against him. She figured he was probably more angry about that than anything. She heard him say he loved her. And she told him she didn't. She just wasn't ready. The timing was all wrong. And now their secrets had ruined a beautiful friendship. Who was she kidding, what they had was more than a simple friendship. She didn't know what to classify their relationship as, the only thing she knew was "extraordinary." And they had ruined it. <em>She <em>had ruined it. He really was just trying to protect her, to help her. And although she would never admit it, she was grateful for that. She needed to fix this. But how? Where would she start? He probably hated her now, after all of those horrible things she said to him. None of them were true. She knew that. She sighed and grabbed her coat from the back of the couch, walking out the door before she could change her mind. Anyone who saw her walking down the street would say the same thing: Kate Beckett was a woman on a mission.

…...

She walked all the way to his loft, trying to figure out what to say when she got there. But time was up. She was standing outside his door, lowering her hand after softly knocking. She had been so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't even realize she had gotten there. As soon as she heard the footsteps, she panicked. But it was too late. He was already opening the door. He saw her, confusion and concern written all over his face.

"Beckett? What are you doing here so late? Is everything ok? Are you hurt?"

She glanced at her father's watch. 3:38 a.m. Oops. She hadn't looked at her watch since 7, and it had only felt like it had been an hour since then. She felt bad for waking him, but not bad enough to leave or let him sleep.

"I..I'm ok."

"Then why...?"

"I..just wanted to apologize. For how I acted the other night. It was childish. I over-reacted. I know you probably hate me after what I did, but -"

"I could _never_ hate you. I know you lied to me, I've known since you were in the hospital. I was angry at first, but I've moved on. It's ok, really. I know you weren't ready. And as for last week's fiasco, it's forgotten. It hurt, but I knew what I was getting into when I started digging. The only reason I haven't seen you since then is because Alexis needed my help with college things. So no, I don't hate you, and I never will."

"How did,"

"I know? Kate," he chuckled, "I've been shadowing you for four years now. I know your tells." He gently grabbed her hand, successfully pulling her into a hug, making her tense. He wasn't usually this touchy, especially when she was so emotional. But he somehow always knew just what she needed, and in this case, a hug was just that. She relaxed into his arms, but didn't hug back. She just let him hold her, just for a second, hoping that they were ok again.

"I should probably go home then," she whispered as she pulled away from his arms.

"Stay," he pouted. But she couldn't not yet. He knew that, he just wanted to make her smile.

"I can't...I..."

"I understand. Thank you, Kate."

"I didn't do anything."

"You did. You apologized. So thank you. It means the world to me."

"Always," she smiled. She turned to leave, but before the elevator opened she heard his voice.

"Kate?"

She turned around expectantly.

"See you Monday?"

She smirked at the hopeful tone in his voice, like after everything that just happened she could still want him gone.

"Monday," she confirmed as she stepped into the elevator, the doors closing behind her.

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><p><strong>So that's it! Let me know what you think!<strong>

**Personally, I think I do my best work when I'm extrememly exhausted, which is why the first chapter is better. Thanks for reading!**

**Reviews make my day. Seriously. Love em.**

**On a side note, has anyone seen the preview clip for 4x13? OMG. Andrew Marlowe is such a tease. That's all I'm gonna say about it. **

**Also, I watched it four times.**

**love you all.**

**xx ~ C**


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